Leading Without a Title (And What I Got Wrong First)

I never really set out to “lead” anything. I was just trying to do good work. But like a lot of designers at a certain point in their career, I started noticing the gaps: the unclear priorities, the quiet dysfunction between teams, the way good work got stuck or watered down. And I couldn’t not see it.

So I spoke up. I asked the questions no one wanted to ask in planning meetings. I offered to run the design reviews. I tried to reframe problems when they felt too narrow. It came from a good place — I cared. But looking back, I was pushing too hard. Driving every conversation. Jumping in with ideas too early. Trying to keep things moving, but unintentionally creating friction. I thought I was helping. I was mostly just… louder.

It took a conversation with a product manager I trusted to help me see it. She said, “You don’t need to fill every silence.” It landed harder than she meant it to, but she was right. I had confused leadership with direction. I was trying to steer everything, instead of listening for what was already trying to happen.

That shift changed everything.

I started slowing down. Letting people finish their thoughts, even when I had a quicker way to get there. Asking questions instead of giving answers. Creating clarity, but not control. That’s when people started pulling me into conversations I hadn’t been invited to before — not because I had authority, but because I brought something grounding to the room. Not speed. Not certainty. Just space.

I started noticing where influence really happens. Not in the meeting where decisions get finalized, but in the one-on-ones before. In the async threads that go ignored unless someone takes the time to summarize them. In the quiet moments after a tough critique where someone needs to hear “you’re not crazy.”

Leading without a title is weird. You’re doing work that matters, but it doesn’t show up on an org chart. You don’t get credit for it, and if you do it wrong, you might actually make things worse. But when it works — when you really listen, create space, and help other people do better work — it’s the most fulfilling kind of leadership I’ve experienced.

And the best part? You don’t have to wait to be asked.