The One Question That Changed Our 1:1s
A small shift in how I opened conversations made a big difference in how people showed up.
May 22, 2025
I’ve always taken 1:1s seriously. They’re not status updates to me - they’re check-ins, space for reflection, connection, and growth.
But I noticed that, over time, they were getting… flatter. Everyone was “good,” “on track,” “all set.” There wasn’t anything wrong, but there also wasn’t anything real.
So I made one tiny change. Instead of asking, “How are things going?” I started asking:
“What’s been on your mind lately?”
Not “in your tasks,” not “in your work.” Just… what’s been on your mind.
And something shifted. People paused. They thought. And they answered differently.
I heard about a designer who was struggling with decision fatigue. Another who was feeling unsure about their growth. Another who felt ready to mentor someone but didn’t know how to ask.
None of this came up in project updates. But it mattered. And it gave me a way in - not to fix things, but to support better.
I didn’t overhaul our 1:1 structure. I didn’t add frameworks. I just asked a better question.
And it reminded me that leadership isn’t always about giving direction. Sometimes, it’s just about creating space for what’s already there to surface.
Share this article
Recent articels
I write about the future of design and the life of a product designer
